One of the nation's largest soup manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with their newest Soup creation, "Clinton Soup," that will honor one of the nation's most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water. Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin production in Canada this year. ________________ When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied: "I don't know, I never had one." _________________ If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use? _________________ Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time?" Bill Clinton replied, "No, some begin with 'After I'm elected.'" _________________ Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered. __________________ American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of crap he can't fly. ___________________ Clinton only lacks three things to become one of America's finest leaders: Integrity, vision, and wisdom. __________________ Clinton is doing the work of three men: Larry, Curly, and Moe. __________________ Revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know." __________________ Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Top | Back | Home