Restroom Humor

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
---Women's rest room, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
---Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit.
---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

To do is to be - Descartes
To be is to do - Voltaire
Do be do be do - Frank Sinatra
---Men's rest room, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona

Make love, not war.-Hell, do both, get married!
---Women's rest room, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going
to have trouble with it.
---Women's rest room, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
---Inside toilet stall door, Men's rest room

Express Lane: Five beers or less
---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

You're too good for him.
---Sign over mirror in Women's rest room, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hill,CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
---Sign over mirror in Men's rest room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
---Women's rest room, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump
here. Your asshole is in Washington.
---Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away.
---Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
---Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's
all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
---Armand's Pizza,  Washington, D.C.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
---The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
---Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
---Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
---Revolution Books, New York, New York

What are you looking up on the wall for?  The joke is in your hands.
---Men's rest room, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

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