Three blokes enter a disabled swimming contest The first has no arms.  The
second no legs and the third has no body, just a head.  They all line up,
the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool. The guy with no arms
takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast.  The head
of course sank straight to the bottom.  Ten lengths later and the guy with
no legs finishes first.  He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of
the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.  He picks up
the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of
the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.  Eventually
the head catches his breath and shouts:

"Three f***ing years I've spent learning to swim with my f***ing ears, then
two minutes before the whistle, some bastard puts a swimming cap on me"

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