De Ebonics Crimmus Pome

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus,
And all ower da hood,
Ereybody wuz' sleepin'
Dey wuz sleepin' good.

We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de' heck,
That old Santa Clause
Be bringin' our check.

All o'de fambily
Wuz layin in de beds,
While Ripple and Thunderbird
Danced through dey heads.

I passed out onna' flo
Right nex to my Maw;
When I heard sech a fuss
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

I looked out thru de bars
What covered my doe,
'Spectin' de sheriff
Wif a warrent fo' sho.

And what did I see?
I said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
Ther' wuz a huge wadda mellon
Pulled by giant warf rats!!

Now ober all deese years,
Sanna Clause, he be white;
But looks liken us bro's
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

Faster dan a Po'lees car
Mah home boy he came;
He whupped on dem warf rats
An' called dem by name!

On Leroy, on 'Lonzo,
And on Willie Lee;
On Saphire, on Chenequa,
Dey wuz a &*% site to see!!

As he landed dat wadda mellon
Out dere in da skreet,
I knowed it was fo' sho'
Da *&*&^*&* site I ebber did see.

He didn't go down no chimbley,
He picked da' lock on my doe;
An' I sez to myself,
"Sheeit!! He done dis befoe!!!"

He had dis big bag,
Full of prezents I 'spect;
Wit Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun' mah neck.

But he left no good prezents,
Jus started stealing my *&%$
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even mah burglar kit!!

Wit my stuff in de bag,
Out da window he flewed;
I woudda' tried to catched him,
But he stoled my 'nife too!!

He jumped on dat wadda mellon
An' whipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon',
Dat son of a *^%$$!!

Next year I be hopin'
Anutha Sanna we git;
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause,
Jus' ain't werf a *&%$!!!

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