Good Boyfriends: Minimum Requirements

1. A boyfriend's biceps must be bigger than his Ear Lobes.
2. Your Boyfriend must be willing to hand over the Control of the TV remote,
   without sweating, swearing, squirming or extreme distortions of his face.
3. Your boyfriend must be able to remember both your first and last name,
   within ten minutes of watching Baywatch.
4. A boyfriend's vocabulary must include at least 20% intelligible words
   mixed in with the typical blend of grunts, snorts, and belches.
5. Your boyfriend should be able to defend you against at least two thugs.
   If you are willing to help then it should go up to six.
6. The sound level of a boyfriend eating a cheeseburger must remain under 90
   decibels...unless he does it in under 6 seconds.
7. Your boyfriend must be able to name more great events in American History
   than episodes of the Three Stooges.
8. Your boyfriend must reserve at least 15 minutes a day for conversation
   that does NOT include sports, cars, Super Models, or Science fiction movies.
9. Boyfriend's must know the difference between right and're
   right and they're wrong!
10. Your boyfriend must be able to detect important shifts in your emotional
    needs within 3 weeks of when they occur. (PMS)
11. Your boyfriend's idea of a date must on occasion include the possibility
    of him spending money.
12. Your boyfriend must be able to dance at least one dance OTHER than the
13. Boyfriend hair guidelines: 
    1) his hair must never look like a nest for rodents.
    2) his hair must never look better than yours.
    3) his hair must never be longer than yours
14. A boyfriend's idea of a sensitive and emotionally satisfying  movie
    should not include any films with Clint, Arnold, or Bruce in it.
15. Ideally, boyfriend's should be able to dress themselves with  style and
    flair...or at least just be able to dress themselves.
16. You must not be able to smell your boyfriend's breath beyond a radius of
    4 feet.

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