Scared Shitless

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last
of which had left his system upset.  Upon making several false-alarm trips
to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He
suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability 
to remain rational.  Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up 
the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking 
by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.  He started yelling, cursing, 
and swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile 
at his feet.  As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security 
guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What was that 
all about?"

Still staring down, the drunk replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of
a ghost!"

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