Bill of No Rights

"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots,
keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of 
debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-grandchildren, hereby try 
one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the 
terminally whiny, GUILT RIDDEN, deluded, and other liberal bed-wetters. We 
hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are 
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a  
"Bill of No Rights."

Article I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of
wealth.  More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.

Article II:
You do not have the right to never be offended.  This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone not just you!  You may leave
the room, change the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the
world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

Article III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver
in your eye, learn to be more careful.  Do not expect the tool manufacturer
to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

Article IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most
charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we
are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of
another generation of professional couch potatoes.

Article V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from
the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health

Article VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people.  If you kidnap,
rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of
us want to see you rot in jail or fry in the electric chair.

Article VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others.  If you rob, cheat
or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised
if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still
won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

Article VIII:
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in
foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd
like.  However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want
to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a
military uniform and a funny hat.

Article IX:
You don't have the right to a job.  All of us sure want all of you to have
one, and will gladly help you along in hard time, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid
before you to make yourself useful.

Article X:
You do not have the right to happiness.  Being an American means that you
have the right to pursue happiness - which, by the way, is a lot easier if
you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of
you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many people as you
can.  No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you should you
not forward it.  We just think it is about time common sense is allowed to
flourish - call it the age of reason revisited.

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