Are You Repubican or a Democrat

1. What is your personal income level ? Is it:
       Enough to get by on
       Not enough, but more would make me evil
       Whatever the government lets me keep
       Money is but a minor matter in the scope of things
       I've rejected money and enjoy the wonders of nature

2. Describe your family:
       Married with the proper number of offspring
       Content living under the watchful eye of the Government
       The commune rules prohibit disclosing personal information
       I don't believe in individual families
       I don't believe in this questionnaire

3. What is the largest political problem in this country today ?
       The Government has yet to solve all my problems
       Not everyone accepts the fact that the Government knows best
       Too damn many "fat cats"
       Too damn many conservatives
       Too damn many "rich boys" avoiding taxes

4. There's this homeless drunk hanging out in front of your home. Do you:
       Give him five bucks and think highly of yourself
       Direct him to a government agency that will help him
       Help start a government agency that will help him
       Respect his personal choice
       Go outside and get drunk with him

5. I'm against school vouchers because...
       Uncertified public school teachers need jobs too
       Schools should prove themselves & not need anyone to vouch for them
       A monopoly is always less complicated than competition
       Let the fat cats foot all the bill for their snooty brats
       The money could be better spent with alcohol vouchers

6. Bill Clinton's Welfare Reform Policy is:
       Whatever the polls say it should be
       A document with "Hillary" scribbled out & "Bill's" written in
       A plan to discourage work & reward illegitimacy -- PERFECT !
       Having all Americans relocate to Canada
       Letting the Feds take over so it can be screwed-up right

7. Bill Clinton's Official Drug Policy is:
       Whatever the polls say it should be
       The Sharing of Drugs on an equitable basis
       No inhaling
       Place a luxury tax on all illegal drugs bought on the street
       Institute a Federal Drug clinic to distribute free drugs

8. Why do you admire Hillary Clinton ?
       She can put-up with Billie-Boy
       She lies so convincingly
       Her convenient memory
       We need more strong, intelligent women in prison
       She wears an " <---- I'm with Stupid" T-shirt

9. What would Bill Clinton have to do for you to admire him
       Appear in a remake of "The New Stooges" w/Hillary
       Claim to hold his liquor better than Yeltsin
       Annex Mexico & Canada
       Be quiet for just 10 minutes
       Brag about the number of notches in his bedpost, not deny them

10. If ________ was found Chelsea's room, the Clintons would disown her
       A videotape with a note: "It was fun !  Here's a copy -- Newt"
       An autographed photo of Rush Limbaugh

11. Al Gore's dynamic speech pattern makes him an excellent choice for:
       Funeral Director
       Warner Bros cartoon character
       NASA countdown spokesman
       Environmental spokesman
       Toy Robot's voice

12. Bill Clinton strongly believes in
       Bill Clinton
       Bill Clinton
       Bill Clinton
       Bill Clinton
       Bill Clinton

13. The missing Whitewater documents showed up in the White House because:
       They were being used to line Sock's litter box
       KGB spies put them there to avenge the fall of the USSR
       They were blank until lemon juice was spilled on them
       That rascally David Copperfield again!
       Hillary misfiled them with her underwear


If you think this is a humor page, you're a Republican.
If you had a hard time picking the best answer, you're a Democrat.

Top |  Back | Home