1. What is your personal income level ? Is it:
Enough to get by on
Not enough, but more would make me evil
Whatever the government lets me keep
Money is but a minor matter in the scope of things
I've rejected money and enjoy the wonders of nature
2. Describe your family:
Married with the proper number of offspring
Content living under the watchful eye of the Government
The commune rules prohibit disclosing personal information
I don't believe in individual families
I don't believe in this questionnaire
3. What is the largest political problem in this country today ?
The Government has yet to solve all my problems
Not everyone accepts the fact that the Government knows best
Too damn many "fat cats"
Too damn many conservatives
Too damn many "rich boys" avoiding taxes
4. There's this homeless drunk hanging out in front of your home. Do you:
Give him five bucks and think highly of yourself
Direct him to a government agency that will help him
Help start a government agency that will help him
Respect his personal choice
Go outside and get drunk with him
5. I'm against school vouchers because...
Uncertified public school teachers need jobs too
Schools should prove themselves & not need anyone to vouch for them
A monopoly is always less complicated than competition
Let the fat cats foot all the bill for their snooty brats
The money could be better spent with alcohol vouchers
6. Bill Clinton's Welfare Reform Policy is:
Whatever the polls say it should be
A document with "Hillary" scribbled out & "Bill's" written in
A plan to discourage work & reward illegitimacy -- PERFECT !
Having all Americans relocate to Canada
Letting the Feds take over so it can be screwed-up right
7. Bill Clinton's Official Drug Policy is:
Whatever the polls say it should be
The Sharing of Drugs on an equitable basis
No inhaling
Place a luxury tax on all illegal drugs bought on the street
Institute a Federal Drug clinic to distribute free drugs
8. Why do you admire Hillary Clinton ?
She can put-up with Billie-Boy
She lies so convincingly
Her convenient memory
We need more strong, intelligent women in prison
She wears an " <---- I'm with Stupid" T-shirt
9. What would Bill Clinton have to do for you to admire him
Appear in a remake of "The New Stooges" w/Hillary
Claim to hold his liquor better than Yeltsin
Annex Mexico & Canada
Be quiet for just 10 minutes
Brag about the number of notches in his bedpost, not deny them
10. If ________ was found Chelsea's room, the Clintons would disown her
Condoms
Marijuana
Cocaine
A videotape with a note: "It was fun ! Here's a copy -- Newt"
An autographed photo of Rush Limbaugh
11. Al Gore's dynamic speech pattern makes him an excellent choice for:
Funeral Director
Warner Bros cartoon character
NASA countdown spokesman
Environmental spokesman
Toy Robot's voice
12. Bill Clinton strongly believes in
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
13. The missing Whitewater documents showed up in the White House because:
They were being used to line Sock's litter box
KGB spies put them there to avenge the fall of the USSR
They were blank until lemon juice was spilled on them
That rascally David Copperfield again!
Hillary misfiled them with her underwear
SCORING: None
If you think this is a humor page, you're a Republican.
If you had a hard time picking the best answer, you're a Democrat.
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