Demotivators 2000




Despair Inc. present the  Calendar of Monthly Inspirations for
Underachievers, Pessimists, and the Chronically Unsuccessful.

INEPTITUDE: If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy
            doing it poorly.

FAILURE: When your best just isn't good enough.

PESSIMISM: Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills
           hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.

MEDIOCRITY: It takes alot less time and most people won't notice the
            difference until it's too late.

DEFEAT: For every winner, there are dozens of losers.
        Odds are, you're one of them.

FUTILITY: You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and
          statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.

APATHY: If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop
        bugging us.

STUPIDITY: Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who
           never win and never quit are idiots.

AGONY: All pain is not gain.

PROCRASTINATION: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness
                 always pays off now.

LOSING: If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

MISTAKES: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to
          serve as a warning to others 




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