The Top 10 signs you have joined a Cheap HMO

10.  Annual breast exams are conducted at Hooter's
 9.  The directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you
     enter the trailer park".
 8.  Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle
 7.  The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from the local Roto-Rooter
 6.  The only item listed under the Preventive Care feature of coverage is
     "an apple a day"
 5.  Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill
     last week.
 4.  You find out that "Patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network
     charges" is not a typo
 3.  The only expense that is covered 100% is.....embalming.
 2.  With your last HMO, the Viagra pills didn't come in different colors
     with little "M"s on them.
 1.  When you asked for Viagra, they gave you a Popsicle stick and duct tape!

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