Moral of the Story

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to
tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.  The next day the kids
came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying 
hens.  One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front
seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went
flying and broke and made a mess"
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. 
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" 
"Very good," said the teacher.
"Now, Lucy?"
"Our family are farmers too.  But we raise chickens for the meat 
market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got
ten live chicks.  And the moral to this story is, don't count your
chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy.

"Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was
a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit.  He had to bail out over enemy
territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a
machete.  He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and
then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.  He killed seventy
of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed
twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the
last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?" 

"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking." 

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