But Ossifer...

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the Interstate for a 
nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through 
what was left of his hair and he decided to take off. As the needle 
jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light 
behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and
accelerated even more. The needle hit 90, 100..... Then the reality of 
the situation hit him.  "What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled 
over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and
examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the
13th.  I don't feel like doing more paperwork, so if you can give me 
an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." 

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with 
a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

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