VIRUS WARNING JUST RECEIVED: WORK VIRUS! If you receive any sort of 'work' at all, whether via email, Internet, or handed to you on paper by a colleague - DO NOT OPEN IT. This virus has been circulating around our office for months and those who have been tempted to open 'work' or even look at it have found that their social lives have been deleted and their brains cease to function properly. If you do encounter 'work' via email, you must transmogrify the virus, by sending an email to your boss with the words "I've had enough of this stuff; I'm off to the local pub." The 'work' should automatically be forgotten by your brain and your career will be successfully destroyed. If you receive 'work' in paper-document form, simply drag the document to the nearest wastepaper bin and deposit it there. Put on your jacket and rush to the nearest pub with two friends and order 3 pints. After repeating this action several times, you will find that 'work' will no longer be of any relevance to you. Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do not have anyone in your address book, then the 'work' virus has already corrupted your life. Go out and get some friends.
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