Reasons Sheep are Better Than Women

Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth
You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear
Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather
Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease
Nuttin' beats mutton
Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel
Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then
tell you they have to be home early
Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down
Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you 
  tell them
No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe
Sheep are never concerned about their reputation
Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up
Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the
second time
Sheep never insist on eating out
You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of Mel Gibson
Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late
Sheep don't smell like tuna fish
Sheep don't get moody once a month
You can eat a lamb chop without getting wool stuck in your teeth
A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her life after one
  roll in the hay
A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed
A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon
A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car
A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange your
  furniture and put up new curtains
A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay
A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup
A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy
A sheep won't care of you keep your fish bait in the refrigerator
A sheep won't get even with you by spending your paycheck on new clothes,
  none of which are see-through or meant to be worn in the bedroom
A sheep will never sue you for palimony
A sheep won't care if you screw her sister
A sheep won't care if your secretary is better looking than she is
A sheep will never tell you the ceiling needs to be painted while you're
A sheep won't use you razor to shave its legs, or your pocketknife to open a
  paint can
Sheep never have a headache
A sheep won't give your favorite hunting shirt to Goodwill
A sheep won't leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom
A sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work and pick up a
  box of tampons
Sheep grow their own fur coats
A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the living room couch when you're
  having friends over to watch football
Sheep won't cheat on you with your best friend
A sheep will never ask if you'll still respect her in the morning
Sheep aren't into talking before or after sex
A sheep never yells at you for leaving the lid up
A sheep won't send you out for batteries for her vibrator
A sheep doesn't think it's demeaning or kinky to do it doggy style
A sheep won't mind if you put up mirrors in the bedroom
Sheep are "ram tough"
A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if you: send daisies instead of
  long-stemmed red roses, tip less than 20%, wear levis with a hole in the
seat, open beer bottles with your teeth
Sheep don't mind if you leave the lights on
Sheep don't mind doing it in the morning
Sheep don't mind doing it in a pickup truck
A sheep will never use the excuse that: she just did her nails, it's too
  hot, it's too cold, you'll wake the kids, you'll wake the neighbors,
   she's too drunk to enjoy it, she's not drunk enough to enjoy it
A sheep will never leave you for a cucumber

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