Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
   support a 10 lb. possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when
   placed on blocks in your front yard?
   A) 66 Ford Fairlane
   B) 69 Chevrolet Chevelle
   C) 64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons
   of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density
   of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 
   2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Pabst 
   Blue Ribbons will be consumed in cutting the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented its charge of R-12
   simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24 inch centers with a field
   rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The
   porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many
   hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollar with an average
   slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place
   a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2 ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on
   a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic
   loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck
   before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain?

   For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers
   and uncracked windshields?

9. A coal mine operates as an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The
   mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning
   of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during
   the shift?

10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter
    than the others because of grazing along a mountain side?

What are you kidding me?

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