Lessons of Life From Texas

 1. Don't squat with your spurs on.

 2. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad

 3. Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it
    back in.

 4. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

 5. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then
    to make sure it's still there.

 6. If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering
    somebody else's dog around.

 7. A good horse never comes in a bad color.

 8. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
    roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him....The 
    moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

 9. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

10. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

11. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is
    probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

12. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

13. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

14. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

15. Always drink upstream from the herd.

16. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be
    surprised if they learn their lesson.

17. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown
    around by somebody else.

18. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so
    important to know what it is, but you might need to know what it was.

19. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back
    in your pocket.

20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

21. There are three kinds of men:
    The one that learns from reading.
    The one that learns from observation.
    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves

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