Bad Day?


(This was an article in the CALIFORNIA EXAMINER, March 20,1998):

Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male
was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers, and
facemask. A post-mortem examination revealed that the person died not from
burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about determining how a fully clad
diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the
day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20
miles away from the forest. The   firefighters, seeking to control the fire
as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large
buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then
flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver
was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a breaststroke
in a fire bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently, he extinguished exactly
5'10" of the fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.


(The following is taken from a Florida newspaper)

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the
house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and
somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the
handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the
motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the
crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the
floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio
door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several
flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her
husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the
hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing
that gas had  spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels,
blotted the  gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The husband was
treated at  the hospital and was released to come home. After arriving home,
he looked  at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his
motorcycle. He  became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet
and smoked a  cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it
between his legs  into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was
in the kitchen,  heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran
into the bathroom  and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers
had been blown away  and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of
his legs and his  groin. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an
The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the
street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began
carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the
street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how
the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started
laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband
out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.

Now THAT is a bad day...

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