30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of
   your kleenex to other passengers.

2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
   muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"

4. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
   peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

5. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
   Wear yours upside-down.

6. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing
   the wall, without getting off.

7. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to
   yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they
   open by themselves.

8. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

9. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm
   handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand
    that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped
    down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

11. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while,
    and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

12. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from
    the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

13. Meow occasionally.

14. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your

15. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say

16. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks

17. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

18. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

19. Stare at another passenger for a while, then
    announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far
    corner of the elevator.

20. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

21. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to
    the other passengers.

22. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask
    "is that your beeper?"

23. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

24. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

25. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and
    announce to the other passengers that this is your
    "personal space."

27. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another
    passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

28. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more
    suitable host body."

29. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

30. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other