What if condoms had corporate sponsors?

Nike Condoms:                  Just do it.
Toyota Condoms:                Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms:            You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms:              Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms:                The freshmaker.
Flinstones Vitamins Condoms:   Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms:                Strong enough for a man,
                                but ph balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms:             It does more, it costs less, it's that
Ford Condoms:                  The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms:                 Like a Rock.
Dial Condoms:                  Aren't you glad you use it?
                                Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms:        Cause hey -- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms:      Who's next?
Avis Condoms:                  Trying harder than ever.
EverReady Condoms:             Keeps going and going ...
KFC Condoms:                   Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms:             Always the Real Thing.
Lays Condoms:                  Betcha can't have just one.
Campbell's Soup Condoms:       Mm, mm good.
Nature Valley:                 The Candy Bar Nature Intended
Absolut Condoms:               ABSOLUT BONER.
Pontiac Condoms:               We build excitement
Microsoft Condoms:             Where do you want to go today?
Arch Deluxe Condoms:           The condom with the grown up taste.
M&M's:                         Melts in your mouth not in your hands
VW:                            Drivers wanted
BASF:                          We don't make the condom,
                                we make the condom moister.
GE:                            We bring good things to life.

Maxwell House Condoms       - good to the last drop
Timex condoms               - it takes a licking and keeps on ticking
IBM Condoms                 - Solutions for a small planet
Oldsmobile Condoms          - We're not your father's Oldsmobile
                              (obviously Dad's didn't work)