Human Resources Memo

Human Resources Memo:
18 November1996

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning
in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive
Time" (code 5309). To our department, unproductive time isn't a problem.

What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing
during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a
tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee
activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of 
what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using
this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties

Extended Job Code List

Code number   Explanation
 ----------   -----------
5000          Surfing the Net
5001          Reading Social Email
5002          Trying to Think of Witty Reply to Social Email
5316          Meeting
5317          Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318          Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319          Waiting for Break
5320          Waiting for Lunch
5321          Waiting for End of Day
5322          Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323          Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker.
                    While Coworker is not Present
5393          Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400          Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is not interested
                   in Learning
5401          Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402          Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481          Buying Snack
5482          Eating Snack
5500          Filling Out Timesheet
5501          Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502          Waiting for Something to Happen
5503          Scratching Yourself
5504          Sleeping
5510          Feeling Bored
5600          Bitching About Lousy Job
5601          Bitching About Low Pay
5602          Bitching About Long Hours
5603          Bitching About Coworker (see codes #5322, #5323)
5604          Bitching About Boss
5605          Bitching About Personal Problems
5640          Miscellaneous Unproductive Bitching
5701          Not Actually Present At Job
5702          Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
6102          Ordering Out
6103          Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104          Taking it Easy While Digesting Food
6200          Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201          Stealing Company Goods
6202          Making Excuses after Accidentally Destroying Company
6202A         Using Company Software to Update Resume
6203          Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204          Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal
                   Calls in Order to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6206          Gossip
6207          Planning a Social Event (e.g., vacation, wedding...)
6210          Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6221          Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222          Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223          Pretending You Like Coworker
6224          Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They
                   are Jerks
6238          Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350          Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601          Running your own Business on Company Time (see code
6602          Complaining
6603          Writing a Book on Company Time
6611          Staring Into Space
6612          Staring At Computer Screen
6615          Transcendental Meditation
7281          Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400          Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401          Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402          Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403          Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404          Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405          Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406          Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419          Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425          Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone (see also 7400)
7931          Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000          Recreational Drug Use
8001          Playing Mine Sweeper
8002          Playing Hearts
8003          Playing Solitare
8004          Playing Tetris
8005          Playing Doom
8006          Playing Other Computer Game Not Mentioned Above