Terms: The horse coming in first wins The horse coming in second places The horse coming in third shows A horse that doesn't run is scratched A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase one and enter it. However, prices for a horse were too steep so he bought a donkey instead. So he entered it in a race. To his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day, the racing sheets carried this headline: Preacher's Ass Shows. The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it again and this time he won. The headlines read: Preacher's Ass Out in Front. The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. Headlines read: Bishop Scratched Preacher's Ass. This was too much for the bishop. He ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher decided to give it to a nun at a nearby convent. Headlines read: Nun Has Best Ass in Town. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey. She finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for ten bucks. Headlines read: Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks. They buried the bishop the next day.