At a Santa Fe gas station: "We sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container." On the wall of a Baltimore Estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law." --Sisters of Mercy" On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot." In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday." In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed." In a New York drugstore: "We dispence with accuracy." In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center." On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church." On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship." At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel." On a display of "I love only you" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work." In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan." In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament - Ears pierced." Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends." On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak." In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished." In a Pennsylavania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves." On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission." On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable." Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car." And apparently, somewhere in England in an open field otherwise untouched by human pressence, there is a sign that says, "Do not throw stones at this sign."