Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

 1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and
    ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

 2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips
    on that."

 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks
    the silence with a bodily function noise.

 4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

 5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!  My glass eye!"

 6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then
    drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height
    of 6 feet.  Sigh relaxingly.

 8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

 9. Say, "Humus.  Reminds me of humus."

 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew.  Squirt it
     erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors
     while yelling, "Whoa!  Easy boy!"

 11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a
     wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall
     wall of your neighbor.  Then say, "Whoops, could you
     kick that back over here please?"

 13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy!  Don't fall asleep on me."

 14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn.  Rush into the stall
     with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy
     vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and
     splatter cream corn all about.  Apologize profusely and
     blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.

 15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

 16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.
     Now what am I gonna do?"

 17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on
     your butt cheeks.

 18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down
     your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor
     visible to the adjacent stall.

 19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust
     it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

 20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and
     sing "Born Free".