An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into ~
small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his
dog. He figures he'll have a little fun...

Ventriloquist: "Hey, good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speakto him?"
New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"
Dog:      " Doin' alright. "
New Zealander: 
Ventriloquist: "ls this Kiwi your owner?" < pointing at New Zealander>
Dog:      "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog:      "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food,
       and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
New Zealander: 
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talkto your horse?"
New Zealander: "Horse doesn't talk either."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse:     "Cool."
New Zealander: 
Ventriloquist: "ls this your owner! " < pointing at New Zealander>
Horse:     "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How's he treat you!"
Horse:     "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me
       regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me
       in the barn to protect me from the elements."
New Zealander: 
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
New Zealander: "The Sheep Lies."