1. What is your personal income level ? Is it: Enough to get by on Not enough, but more would make me evil Whatever the government lets me keep Money is but a minor matter in the scope of things I've rejected money and enjoy the wonders of nature 2. Describe your family: Married with the proper number of offspring Content living under the watchful eye of the Government The commune rules prohibit disclosing personal information I don't believe in individual families I don't believe in this questionnaire 3. What is the largest political problem in this country today ? The Government has yet to solve all my problems Not everyone accepts the fact that the Government knows best Too damn many "fat cats" Too damn many conservatives Too damn many "rich boys" avoiding taxes 4. There's this homeless drunk hanging out in front of your home. Do you: Give him five bucks and think highly of yourself Direct him to a government agency that will help him Help start a government agency that will help him Respect his personal choice Go outside and get drunk with him 5. I'm against school vouchers because... Uncertified public school teachers need jobs too Schools should prove themselves & not need anyone to vouch for them A monopoly is always less complicated than competition Let the fat cats foot all the bill for their snooty brats The money could be better spent with alcohol vouchers 6. Bill Clinton's Welfare Reform Policy is: Whatever the polls say it should be A document with "Hillary" scribbled out & "Bill's" written in A plan to discourage work & reward illegitimacy -- PERFECT ! Having all Americans relocate to Canada Letting the Feds take over so it can be screwed-up right 7. Bill Clinton's Official Drug Policy is: Whatever the polls say it should be The Sharing of Drugs on an equitable basis No inhaling Place a luxury tax on all illegal drugs bought on the street Institute a Federal Drug clinic to distribute free drugs 8. Why do you admire Hillary Clinton ? She can put-up with Billie-Boy She lies so convincingly Her convenient memory We need more strong, intelligent women in prison She wears an " <---- I'm with Stupid" T-shirt 9. What would Bill Clinton have to do for you to admire him Appear in a remake of "The New Stooges" w/Hillary Claim to hold his liquor better than Yeltsin Annex Mexico & Canada Be quiet for just 10 minutes Brag about the number of notches in his bedpost, not deny them 10. If ________ was found Chelsea's room, the Clintons would disown her Condoms Marijuana Cocaine A videotape with a note: "It was fun ! Here's a copy -- Newt" An autographed photo of Rush Limbaugh 11. Al Gore's dynamic speech pattern makes him an excellent choice for: Funeral Director Warner Bros cartoon character NASA countdown spokesman Environmental spokesman Toy Robot's voice 12. Bill Clinton strongly believes in Bill Clinton Bill Clinton Bill Clinton Bill Clinton Bill Clinton 13. The missing Whitewater documents showed up in the White House because: They were being used to line Sock's litter box KGB spies put them there to avenge the fall of the USSR They were blank until lemon juice was spilled on them That rascally David Copperfield again! Hillary misfiled them with her underwear SCORING: None If you think this is a humor page, you're a Republican. If you had a hard time picking the best answer, you're a Democrat.
Top | Back | Home