She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quaterback was a refund. She tried to put the M&Ms in alphabetic order. She thought Boyz to Men was a day care center. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics". She tried to drown a fish. She tripped over the cordless phone. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said concentrate. She got stabbed in a shoot out. She told me to meet her at the corner of "walk" and "don't walk". They had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put Sagittarius. She asked for a price check at the the Dollar Store. It takes her two hours to watch 60 minutes. She studied for a blood test and failed. She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train". She sold her car for gas money. When she saw the "NC-17 under 17 not admitted", she went home and got 16 friends. When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around home, she moved. She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around and went home. She got locked in the grocery store and starved to death. We'll miss her.
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